Longing for Peace
by The Pippinatorformely Maddhu
Summary: Joren's going through a depressing stage-right before his ordeal....


Disclaimer: The song: run for cover by Sugarbabes

Disclaimer: The song: run for cover by Sugarbabes. Characters: Tamora PierceI OWN NOTHING- NOT EVEN A SHOE! All right, the poem written by the "person" is actually by ME!!!! (Giggles manically, still high from the four redskins consumed on the train)

A/N I know Joren's dead. This is just set in the wacko's head in Squire-as if he was willing the Chamber to kill him. And I actually quite like Kel. She's cooooool (although Alanna is WAY cooooooler)

Longing for peace

Joren ran. The little cow Keladry had beaten him again. She was still here!

He'd tried to get rid of her, by kidnapping the servant, Lalasa, but the men he'd hired had been caught. Idiots. 

**When blues get me down**

**_Then I get turned around_**

**_I tend to cut myself off_**

**_From things I shouldn't run from ……_**

_ _

He reached his rooms. Locked the door. Looked in the mirror. Was disgusted. 

Looked at his arms. Strong and muscular. Grabbed some writing tools off his desk. 

Opened the door again. Took off like the wind. 

**It doesn't really matter**

**_Sometimes we run for cover_**

**_I'm always on the outside._**

**_ _**

Ran past the stables, into the royal forest. 

**Keep going** he ordered his weary legs. 

Ran past a huntsman, jumped over the traps. 

Stab me in the back Wanting things that I lack. 

**__**

All he'd ever wanted was some peace and quiet in his head. 

So he'd obeyed his fathers every wish, from making friends with Garvey and Vincent.

They'd come up with all the plans. Not Him

Sticking to your ploy

**_Is it something you enjoy?_**

**_ _**

Sure, he'd hired the men, only because Garvey and Vincent couldn't afford it. 

**_Publicities and Insecurities (insecurities)_**

**_ _**

He used to be popular, back before he'd come to Corus. The fief's near Stone Mountain had been charmed 

Back when he'd been charming without effort and meant to be charming. 

Now he was just charming to the girls his mother introduced him to. 

And they were never the girl he wanted to charm.

Just wanna be me It's my need to be free He stopped. In front of a gorge. The gorge where King Roald had died. He sat. Pulled out the pencil and paper. Started to write.  It doesn't really matter,  Sometimes we run for cover I'm always on the outside Joren was an outsider. Hated by all. You never seem to wonder,  How much you make me suffer I speak it from the inside Joren let the tear fall.  He hated her.  He loved her.  Bitch Beauty Bully Brave

And there she was. Watching him cry. 

Looking right at me (At me) Won't receive me plea (my plea)

He looked up. Stood and reached out a hand, like a beggar.

**_Tell me what you mean (you mean)_**

**_It's not what's on the screen (oh, oh, oh)_**

**_ _**

She raised an eyebrow. Folded her arms. Daring him.

**_ _**

**_Faking what will be (will be)_**

**_Fighting the fatigue (fatigue)_**

**_ _**

He was so tired. Wanted to stop the masquerade.

Tried. 

Failed.

That was his life story. 

**_That's quite enough for me (for me)_**

**_Makes me want to scream _**

**_ _**

**_Scream_**

Joren of Stone Mountain, screamed. 

Scream

**_ _**

Didn't stop

Scream

** **

The pain stayed. The scream stopped and the tears fell.

Scream, Scream, Scream.

**_ _**

Joren took off again. 

Kel picked up the paper that he left behind.

Put it in her pocket, saving it for a Joren trashing session with Neal that night. 

**_Keep it to myself (keep it to myself)_**

**_It doesn't really matter_**

**_Sometimes we run for cover_**

**_I'm always on the outside._**

**_ _**

Tears blinded Joren, crashing through the undergrowth.

**_Keep it to myself (keep it to myself)_**

**_You never seem to wonder_**

**_How much you make me suffer_**

**_I speak it from the inside_**

**_ _**

They reached the palace at the same time. Joren was calmer know, in the knowledge that he'd be peaceful soon.**__**

**_Keep it to myself (keep it to myself)_**

**_It doesn't really matter_**

**_Sometimes we run for cover_**

**_I'm always on the outside._**

**_ _**

Kel looked for Neal, wanting to share the gem she'd found.

**_Keep it to myself (keep it to myself)_**

**_You never seem to wonder_**

**_How much you make me suffer_**

**_I speak it from the inside_**

**_ _**

Neal and Kel looked shocked at the poem Joren had wrote. 

**FIGHTING**

** **

**I'm fighting everything**

** **

**I'm fighting heaven. **

**Fighting hard.**

** **

**I'm fighting not to scream**

**And failing.**

** **

**I wonder if you'd miss me**

**If I stopped fighting.**

** **

**Day after day, **

**My battle goes on.**

** **

**Hour after hour,**

**The war cry echoes.**

** **

**I look fine on the outside**

**But inside is another story.**

** **

**That may never be told.**

** **

**I'm not winning this war.**

Kel took it from Neal's unresisting hands and placed it in a box. 

They left the room.****


End file.
